Sweaty palms. Wrinkled clothes. Dirty car. Unattractive hairstyle. Bad overall appearance.
These were the qualities adults said they could overlook on a first date and still have a good time, according to a poll published in USA TODAY last week.
And while we’d all like to think that we’re not overly critical of others on a first date, most college students have things they’re unwilling to compromise on in a romantic relationship.
Patrick Messenger, a junior at Baldwin-Wallace College in Berea, Ohio, defined a dating deal-breaker as “a characteristic of your significant other that annoys you so much that it ruins your relationship.”
Messenger’s dating deal-breaker is excessive cell phone usage on dates, and while he’s learned to cope with his boyfriend of a year’s habit, there are times when it’s frustrating, he said.
“When we first started dating, I could not stand when he would be on his phone – be it texting, tweeting, Facebooking or online shopping,” Messenger said. “Too frequent use of mobile technology is truly the dating deal-breaker that has the potential to destroy any relationship.”
Margaret Schmidt, a senior at the University of Kentucky, also said texting during a date was a turn-off.
“Texting excessively during a date is plain rude. It’s the same as talking to someone else, and it’s just plain rude,” she said. “If it’s a date, the purpose is getting to know the other person. Your date should be able to refrain from reading and sending more than one or two texts during dinner.”
Another deal-breaker for Schmidt is bringing up a controversial political topic on the first date, Schmidt said.
“I’m all for intellectual conversations, but don’t adamantly tell me out of left field that ‘abortion is just so bad’ when we’ve just met,” she said. “That doesn’t make for great dinner talk.”
In fact, avoiding discussing politics all together on a first date might be a good idea, especially if you are a conservative, according to Nina Kadjar, a senior at the University of Texas at Austin.
Her deal-breaker is “when a guy tells me he is a conservative Republican,” although she is willing to give moderate Republicans a chance, she said.
“But when I meet a guy who says he is a devout watcher of Fox News, likes Sarah Palin or believes George W. Bush was his favorite president, it’s game over,” Kadjar said. “At this day and age, I know where my values are and I know I am not compatible in the long term with someone who is on the opposite end of the spectrum as me.”
Brushing up on your manners might also be a good idea before asking that special someone on a date, especially if it’s Will Riley, a junior at the University of North Alabama.
His dating deal-breaker is if a girl passes gas – or belches – on a date, he said.
“I cannot stand it when girls fart or belch – especially if we’re on a date,” he said. “Thankfully I have not had a girl fart at the dinner table, but I have had girls burp after taking a bite of food. I was left start-struck and expected her to at least say ‘Excuse me.’
“I let it slide because I had a big crush, but it ended a few months later.”
Another major turn-off is smoking, said Joseph Kelly, a senior at Mississippi State University.
“Something that I cannot stand is the smell of a cigarette,” he said. “Growing up, both of my parents smoked and I constantly got picked on for smelling like smoke. So because of that I promised myself that I would never smoke and would never date a girl that smoked.”
A lack of serious life goals is another deal-breaker, said Melissa Do, a junior at San Diego State University.
“A lack of goals is a deal-breaker to me because it indicates a lack of passion, which is very uninspiring,” she said. “I like to surround myself with people who inspire me, people who are so passionate about something that they are moved to action.”
Whatever your deal-breaker may be, finding someone who doesn’t have it is the key to a successful relationship.
Do doesn’t plan to abandon her deal-breaker anytime soon, she said.
“I know better than to say never, but because my deal-breaker isn’t materialistic or superficial, I think I’ll stick to it,” she said. “I have goals in life…and I couldn’t imagine being with someone who didn’t have any long-term goals like that at all.”
Powered by Facebook Comments