The college essay has been inflicting serious bouts of writer’s block into prospective applicants since its implementation. But fear not, stressing seniors, here are some humorous (and ridiculous) ways to start that pesky college essay.
1. If you haven’t found anything extraordinary about your life on which to write your essay, why not start with the small stuff? Make a list of every mundane and boring thing you have ever had to do. Taking out the garbage? Check. Changing the cat’s litter? Check. Make sure your essay about your mundane and boring activity makes a deeply reflective and insightful statement about you and shows that you are anything but
mundane and boring.
2. Read five different news articles. Take the fifth word from each first sentence and rearrange the words into a sentence that best describes you to create the hook of your essay. If that unique opening sentence of your essay doesn’t immediately capture the attention of the admissions officer, I’m not sure what will.
3. Channel your favorite celebrities, superheroes or reality TV stars to find guidance and inspiration. What would Kourtney Kardashian do in this situation? Bruce Wayne wouldn’t settle for a poorly written essay and neither should you. If going spelunking and building your own Batcave is what it takes to start this essay, so be it.
4. Admissions officers want to get to know the real you, so what better way to do that than to start your essay by writing about your dream? And I don’t mean your life-long dream to become a doctor, I mean last night’s dream. Whether it was about driving down an endless road or fighting crime in the sewer system of New York City, your dreams give an unadulterated, subconscious look at the real you. What more could they possibly ask for?
5. If all else fails, go on your dream school’s website and look through it until you feel motivated enough to write that amazing essay. Eat ice cream from the tub. Have a good sob or two. It happens to the best of us.
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