Last week, I swore off coffee. But I didn’t follow through. Let’s go back in history to see why.
In ancient Greece and Rome, there was this idea that creativity didn’t come from people, but from a disembodied spirit that works through people, enabling their brilliance. Nowadays, some of us don’t attribute creativity to the gods. We attempt things on our own ability.
As I look at grad school applications, I’m realizing I can’t do this alone. I need something outside of myself. I need … coffee. Here’s why coffee is essential to filling out college applications.
Coffee can keep you focused
It’s no secret that coffee is an upper. In one sense, yes, it’s a drug, since one of Webster’s definitions for “drug” is something that causes addiction. But don’t worry — it’s a therapeutic, useful drug if used correctly (and done in moderation).
What happens when you drink coffee? Do you instantly go to sleep and get nothing done? Of course not! You get super focused and energetic. You need this sort of focus and energy to fill out those long college applications. Let the caffeine do its job. Cooperate with it. You two need to work together.
One caveat: If coffee makes you shake and shimmy like Nicki Minaj on her last tour, consider looking for some other divine intervention instead — or at least drinking decaf.
Whatever you do, don’t trust your own ability when it comes to something as important as getting into college. Be humble and admit that you may need something outside of yourself. That’s OK. Don’t let pride get in the way of success. Accept the help this coffee spirit gives you and get into one of those fancy Boston colleges you’ve had your eye on.
Coffee can be healthy, according to some
I’m going to make an assumption about you: You’re applying to college because, well, you want to go to college. But while your heart desires this, your whole body needs to agree. You need to be awake, relatively healthy and somewhat alert to actually achieve this. And here’s where coffee comes in.
One possible way to fight off some illnesses that could make you miss school is to drink coffee. Did you know, according to WebMD, that coffee drinkers are less likely to get type 2 diabetes or dementia? Is it a coincidence that some research shows coffee drinkers are reporting fewer cases of certain cancers and strokes?
According to at least one study, coffee also has lots of antioxidants, which has been shown to prevent diseases such as coronary heart disease. Dr. Joe Vinson, the study leader of a coffee research study at the University of Scranton, said in the study that Americans get “most of their antioxidants from coffee than any other dietary source.”
If your mindset is, “This coffee is keeping me healthy,” then you’ll have a more positive outlook on life. This positivity will shine through your college applications and higher your chances of getting accepted. In short, coffee just might help you get accepted into college and bring you one step closer to being the business major you always wanted to be.
Coffee keeps your ego in check
As Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, pointed out in her Ted Talk, “A new way to think about creativity,” people used to not get big heads when they created amazing things because they didn’t think they were entirely responsible for their greatness. They contributed it to the gods. Now that people are taking all the credit for their amazingness, they are getting big egos.
So rather than looking at your brilliant college application and saying, “I’m the bomb-diggity for writing this,” remember … check your ego, because coffee helped. You can even attribute it to the coffee gods, if you’re into that sort of thing.
If you attribute some of your success and brilliance to coffee or any number of factors (your parents, God, teachers), then some of the pressure is off. You’re just part of a collaborative effort and, while talented, still need a little help now and then, just as they did in ancient times.
You can be great without coffee, of course. But let’s be honest: Sometimes we need that boost. Sometimes we need help. Filling out school applications is one of these times.
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